wow, i have a blog. i can post things on it.
and then somedays you have to pee really bad when you're driving and you call your best friend and she answers even though it's past midnight her time and you realize you need to call her more because you guys, more than most people, know how to fucking say the shit that the other needs to hear.
and some other days you wonder about the boy in the city with the snow and come up with the perhapses that could've made your life and his fit more snug-like, the shoulds and the sighs and the so ons. and then you realize that if you
packed up your pride, drove the twelve hours, knocked on his door shouting "i'm here i'm here, i came back for you", chewed your nails on his doorstep already content in the perfect life you'll live together from now on, and then watched the door open
to a much fatter, smellier him,
that you wouldn't love him the same anymore.
and you spend half a week feeling like a terrible superficial bastard piece of shit but then you get the fuck over it.
